Being an artist by hobby

Obviously you all know I haven't been consistently drawing since my Grampy passed 9 years ago. He taught me how to draw. This post is not going to be a sad one though. I keep saying I will go back to my art and my drawing. I obviously want to. This post is about my identity as an artist. I will do a separate one for my identity as a writer as well.

My Grampy who passed was 100. I lived with him while I studied my BA in Psychology and he saw me graduate from my main degree before i pursued my honours in psychology. When I was 5 years old, my Grampy taught me the basics of drawing. It was something we had in common. It is thanks to him that I love drawing so much. The title of this post means I am an artist as a hobby. I do it for me. I don't do it as a side hustle because I am rejection sensitive and have low self esteem. I just like doing it for fun. It is therapeutic. I have other mediums I dabble in. I like to make memory bracelets and I tole paint too. Drawing has always been my main medium though. Sometimes I fine art paint too. When I draw, I sometimes work in colour but I mostly do greyscale because I'm not always good at working in colour. I'm going to work more in colour because if I'm doing art for myself, who cares if the drawing is not photo realistic? Who cares if that elephant is purple or green? Art is subjective!

In high school I wasn't sure what I was doing when I graduated and went to college. I thought maybe art but I eventually got accepted into university. I tried to get into an art college but my heart wasn't into my portfolio and I got rejected. It's just as well because the art world is highly critical and I would be in tears. In high school, some of my electives were art ones. I took art 11 and art 12 and design 11. Even if art wasn't what I was going to I at least wanted some formal art training at the high school level. I did well in these classes often getting 80s and 90s as my marks. (In my province we don't have letter grades or at least not when I went to high school. Uni had letter grades for final marks though.). My Grampy supported me in all my endeavours education and art wise. My Grampy was a very smart man. He only had a grade 8/9 education but he had always wanted to go to college. Him leaving high school was a product of the time when kids had to go to work. He had 11 other siblings! My Grampy ran a successful business in plumbing and heating and was known as "Mr. Steam" as he would tell me. I always say you don't always need lots of education to be smart. My Grampy was well versed in the news especially politics and current affairs. He was always reading. When I was living with him going to uni, I would draw while sitting in his room and he would give me pointers. I have a few of his drawings when he was older, and some of his really old ones when he was younger when he had super realistic detail. 

Sometimes to reinvigorate myself into drawing again, I look at drawings I have done before whether or not they were good. I have drawn a little in the last 9 years but I am quite rusty and that also impedes my process. My Grampy was my main supporter too. My mom now is my main supporter of my art. She always supported my art. I am going to be drawing more often. I've at least have some ideas for my drawings where I didn't really have many ideas before. It's in my veins to draw. I never stop thinking about art or about drawing. I just have to put the pencil to paper and I'm golden!

curlyalicia