update Aug 22 2021

 Hello all!

My self esteem has been weird lately. I'm not going to really touch on it but I was really pooped out this week due to the humidity and it was effecting my ability to do things. It's been really hot lately so when i get home it's hard to get big chores done. Mostly have had to keep to smaller things like dishes, touch up cleaning that takes 30 seconds, laundry, putting away laundry. It sucks because I wish I could make cake mixes, brownie mixes, casseroles, in the oven but we are getting another heat wave this week where I live.

I kept saying I was going to get back into my art and do more crafting things. I haven't really been writing much. I have a lot of projects I want to work on but my art block is worse than ever. Drawing used to be a huge pastime of mine. I didn't do it as much after my Grampy passed away and I sometimes go back to it. Obviously I write here in my blog and since last year have tried to journal offline several times a month. I haven't written a lot of poetry. The passion is there but I have trouble getting started on drawing, painting, crafting, writing, poetry, etc. 

I am working on decluttering my apt. I have donated a few things already since the middle of June. A lot of it are books I have read that I bought from work that i wasn't in love with. Other things are just random stuff I tried to buy to organize stuff that in the end made my drawers look cluttered. I buy all my organizing stuff from dollarama bc it is more cost effective. I'm not donating my fave baskets though, just a couple of random ones that were like 2 bucks for a pack of five that were intended for stuff like pens and pencils to sit in a drawer. I am not getting rid of things I love. It's hard to declutter when you love a lot of things. I'm working on organizing better. I find it is hard when you are both autistic and have ADHD as well as OCD to try and get your brain to work towards whatever vision you are trying to work towards. 

One simple step I made yesterday wasn't even a clutter issue but something I meant to do and my brain forgets things as soon as I think of things was that I had an art piece I personally created that I meant to hang up but I didn't know if i had a screw long enough to put it up. I didn't need a 4 inch screw but I didn't want a half inch screw either. luckily I had one long enough in my little bottle I keep spare screws in so they are organized. It's not a big canvas. It's about 1 foot wide and almost 2 feet long but I kept forgetting my intentions. I have on a side of my living room in my at a place where I display some art. I have some different art in my bathroom my Grampy did of some flowers and I have some different ones that I got when Grampy passed or a couple I bought, but this part of my living room I have art pieces that were done. There are 4 in total, 3 of them are ones I did. The one that I did not do was a gift from a friend back home that is the daughter of one of my mom's neighbours and the neighbour is also one of my mom's closest friends. She was actually selling her art on Kijiji for awhile. The daughter loves to garden and grows flowers and also veggies too. 

The art I recently hung up was a self portrait of myself done with foundation, old eyeshadow, and nail polish. I can't remember what I originally named it, but I think a working name is, you're worth it, because that's the L'Oreal slogan I remember my whole life and it's a pun on the fact that I did it all with beauty products. The one my friend did is of a black cat. The other two I did are a painting I did of Pineapple, my old pig, when she was very much still thriving, and a another one is a palm tree at a beach with a lot of reds and oranges because the sun set had a weird gnarly effect in it.

I am going to return to art soon and writing poetry. I'm reading avidly again so I'm hoping it will set ablaze my undying passion to create. The spark isn't dead nor is it dying in the slighest, I just have trouble committing to my goals esp. if there are about art or writing. I sometimes forget I want to draw!

Anyways that is it for now. Not sure if I am writing another post today that is not an update but here is an update post none the less!